Retarded

We're all retards!

re·tard 1 (rĭ-tärd') Pronunciation Key
v. re·tard·ed, re·tard·ing, re·tards

v. tr. To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede.

v. intr. To be delayed. n.

A slowing down or hindering of progress; a delay.
Music A slackening of tempo.

So I was thinking about all that has happened in the last month and thought 'hey, I have a blog, I should post to it'. So I logged on to the old gal' and perceived I am only posting once a month! *Lamesville to me... :(

I am retarded in my blogging capacity. Yes I am active in what I perceive to be more "noble" pursuits like my family, school, work, etc. But I am my own retard none the less. Then I thought to a larger degree, much of you whom will read this blog are retards as well. Yes my own dear family and friends, when I spend time with one of you, your retarding my ability to see my other friends, family, and pursue other activities. I love you all, but you are all so retarded!... with work, with family, personal interests, what have you. Anything you do retards something else. Even as I write this post I am at work, being a retard. I should be doing productive work stuff. And you, you have a million things to do, why are you even reading this post you retard?

I say we make a resolution to undue our "slackening of tempo"...regroup, focus, organize, do! Since everything we do is retarded, the goal has to be getting the biggest "bang for our buck." So next time we hang out, lets not sit around like a couple of retards. Let's spend that "good quality time" you always hear about. Unless Hero's is on T.V. let's turn it off, get rid of all those retarded distractions and make the most of it. Same goes for doing homework, I have to set some rules for myself on how much I play with my kids, those retards! I love them dearly but they are a couple of the biggest retards you'd ever want to meet. Although my wife is quite the retard it's cool, she can be as retarded as she wants and it's fine with me.

Basically, what I'm saying is there is so much life has to offer, lets not let it slip by because we're too retarded to realize what we're missing out on. There's always going to be something retarded we have to engage in, just don't be such a retard about it.